Desire
	
	in my dreams
	I hold my lovers
	next to me all at once
	and ask them
	
	what was it I desired?
	
	my hands are full
	of their heads
	like bunches of cut roses
	blond hair, brown hair, red, black,
	their eyes are pools of bewilderment
	staring up at me
	from the bouquet
	
	what was it I desired?
	I ask again
	
	was it your bodies?
	did I hope by draping
	your flesh over me
	I could escape
	boredom
	loneliness
	gray hairs shooting
	towards me
	from the future
	like thin arrows?
	did I think I could escape,
	by taking your breath
	into my mouth,
	did I think I could escape
	the responsibility
	of breathing?
	
	what did I desire in you?
	
	sex
	knowledge?
	power?
	love?
	
	did I expect the clouds to
	crack
	and blue moths to fly out of the stars?
	did I expect a voice
	to call to me
	saying
	"Here at last is the answer."
	
	what
	I yell at them
	shaking my lovers
	what did I desire in you?
	
	their ears fall off like petals
	they shed their faces
	in a pile at my feet
	their bewildered eyes
	pucker and close
	centers of fallen flowers
	
	the last face
	floats down
	circling in the darkness
	at my feet
	
	what did I desire in you? I whisper
	
	the stems of their bodies
	dry in my hands
	                         -- Mary Mackey